Moving through the grief

Still moving through the grief of  letting Sadie Mae go.
6 weeks since I’ve become dogLESS.  Taking 1 day at a time as I’ve done with the passing of all my dogs.   However, the most notable difference this time:  no other dog to distract me. No excited greetings when I come through the door. No whining, shoe carrying, wiggly butt to greet me.

I’ve resorted to implementing my self prescribed coping method.  Just as it is with a good dog training program, I execute with consistency; self preservation as my motivation:
Come into the house and keep moving…
Turn on the music to drown out the terrible silence and keep moving…
No lingering thoughts of what is not there

Its an effective plan…most days.  

Today, I watched video of us working together.  Seeing her moving, working with me, demonstrating our team work and trust built over 9 yrs. I felt sad and yet, so, so grateful.
And talking about her, talking to those that didn’t know she was gone, evokes emotion.  Kindness and expressions of sympathy helps.

I know I’m not alone, its just ‘my turn’.

From Beau, my childhood dog of 13yrs., to Sadie Mae, its another chapter closed when I loose a dog.  Within that chapter resides my memories of our time together:
The town I lived in and my job.
Our holidays together.
The person I was.
The life teachings I learned from them and much more.

Each dog leaves their impression…a mark.
The mark that is a new awareness that comes by their presence alone.
An awareness that wasn’t there before they arrived.
Layering personalities.
All of them making a better me as they come and go through my life.

All of it is linked to them; The good in my life and the hard parts too.

This is how I’ll track my memories of my life: by the dogs that I’ve shared it with.

Some have children.  I’ll have my dogs.